Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
