It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
