If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
