so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
