I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
