How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
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I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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