So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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