So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
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My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize