Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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