I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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