You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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