dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
