I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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