My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize