DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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