Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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