you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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