don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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