I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize