Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
how does that bad decision feel?
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