The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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