Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
