Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
