I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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