I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
