Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
