I love black thongs
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
