So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
