Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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