therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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