My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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