Me. At least after what I've been through.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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