I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
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