The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
