It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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