Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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