Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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