rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
