Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
