We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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