absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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