Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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