This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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