drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We are all done wearing pants today
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
