I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
