break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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