One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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