I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize