David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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