we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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