if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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