she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
