peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
