DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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