U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
