i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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