Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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