wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
