i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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