**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
