it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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