Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
