dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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