I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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