I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
