Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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