her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
