My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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