I will die if light touches me.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
