She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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